The printer is not working, my computer is atrociously slow today, it’s nice and sunny outside, and I am pondering life’s great questions; like why am I at work today and why is my nail polish chipping already when I just put it on Saturday…yes, I know, deep thinker.
I don’t know if it’s the springing ahead or if it’s a lack of sleep on Saturday night followed by an afternoon spent driving on Sunday that’s making me tired but I feel it today. My eyes are heavy and I could really go for a nap.
I could also go for a vacation. I have been craving a beach lately. Somewhere that I can lay in the sand, soak up the sun and have a drink in my hand (preferably something tropical and fruity). A place where flip flops and comfy cotton dresses are mandatory, the seafood and fruit are fresh and abundant, and the bars all have steel drum bands playing on outdoor patios till the wee hours of the morning.
2010 is starting out well. I’ve been insanely busy spending time with so many people I absolutely adore, meeting new people, getting to know people better, and just really enjoying myself. However, weekends that are packed with traveling, late nights, and lots of booze coupled with marathon training is making for a tired chick. This weekend I’m really looking forward to not having anything on my calendar (ask me again on Thursday and it’ll probably be full!). I plan on indulging in some yoga after a 12 mile run and just taking it easy. I’ve started a really good book (“Random Family: Love, Drugs, Trouble, and Coming of Age in the Bronx” by Adrian Nicole LeBlanc) and plan on spending a lot of time digesting it this weekend.
Since I’m on a random roll here, I am proudly announcing that I’m working really hard to think less and be in the moment more. I’ve been trying hard lately to not think about what is going to happen a mile down the road and to savor the steps that I am on right now. No one can predict what will happen in 2 days, 2 months, or 2 years and I need to stop worrying about and planning for things I have no control over.
My girlfriends tell me all the time that I think too much. And I do. A couple of weekends ago someone else mentioned it in a simple text message and I think that it has finally clicked. Don’t get me wrong, I still over think and think too much and too hard and too long about things I don’t have control over but I’m doing less analyzing – less trying to figure out what someone meant by a certain statement or what a certain action meant. I’m not worrying about people taking what I say the wrong way. I’m just trying really hard to be me and not worrying about what people are thinking when I say something silly or I dance a little too much or my hair isn’t perfect.
Saturday night I did just that. I said things that may have sounded funny but were true Jen, I danced my butt off and didn’t care what I looked like doing it, my hair was absolutely not perfect, and I may have had one too many gin and tonics. But I was me. I enjoyed the company of the person I was with immensely and I had fun.
At this point in the game I would normally start frantically questioning what was going to happen next, calculating moves and analyzing everything along the way. All in an effort to control a situation I have no control over…(ok, ok, I may be a bit of a control freak. Get over it.) Will I get a phone call? Should I call? Will I get blown off? Where is this going? What am I doing? Did I say something that I’ll regret? Did I send one too many text messages? How can I fix that? How can I make this progress in the way that I want it to?
The great thing is, I don’t feel like that at all. I had a fun weekend. What’s next? Who knows and that’s kind of the beauty of it…
Now, which way to the beach?
Monday, March 15, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Random Thoughts This Week
*Sometimes silence is your answer.
*It’s ok to not relentlessly stick to your schedule as long as you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing, changing it up can be a good thing.
*The Bayliss Bitch is indeed quite bitchy. (It’s a hill by the way)
*Hill running is mildly entertaining.
*Compromise is an art. When carried out well it can create a masterpiece.
*Our kids and teens need people to stick up for them. Without adults who are willing to help change a child’s situation they could be lost forever. It really does take a village.
*When your power wheelchair isn’t working and you can’t get out of your van, your first call is not often your state Senator’s office. However, if you do call, I’ll work to get you out.
*A Mary Kay business is not just “pink jars and pink cars” – it’s really about enriching women’s lives, making them feel beautiful inside and enhancing their self-confidence so that they can kick some major butt.
*It’s ok not to be “perfect” – if you don’t win that prize this month; you have the next month and the one after that waiting for you. Keep moving forward.
*I would like Michelle Obama arms, thanks.
*I’m not the girl that says “let’s catch up over dinner/drinks/lunch/etc” but really doesn’t mean it. I mean it. Sincerely.
*Some days you just need a pair of fantastic shoes to brighten your day.
*I LOVE this quote “I hope that my achievements in life shall be these – that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, and that I will have given help to those who were in need, and that I will have left the earth a better place for what I’ve done and who I’ve been.” As a policy maker at the County level and as a staffer at the state level, and in my daily life I try very hard to live by this motto. I hope that I will make a difference.
*I’m much more tired and hungry when I don’t eat a balanced diet.
*A good medium, black, ball point pen is my favorite. Right now I’m loving the Pentel tko – yes, I’ve thought about this.
*I’m not old enough to be a cougar. I’m a puma.
*I LOVE cards – I would take a card over a gift any day, but I ALWAYS have a hard time finding the perfect one for people.
*Parity for mental health is not just a want; it’s a need and a necessity. Improving coverage and access for people with mental illness will benefit not only the person but their family, employers, and the community as a whole.
*I LOVE my morning boot camp class at the Y. They are all SO great to hang out with (I mean work out with) at 5:15 am on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
*It's almost always better to leave well enough alone.
*It’s ok to not relentlessly stick to your schedule as long as you’re doing what you’re supposed to be doing, changing it up can be a good thing.
*The Bayliss Bitch is indeed quite bitchy. (It’s a hill by the way)
*Hill running is mildly entertaining.
*Compromise is an art. When carried out well it can create a masterpiece.
*Our kids and teens need people to stick up for them. Without adults who are willing to help change a child’s situation they could be lost forever. It really does take a village.
*When your power wheelchair isn’t working and you can’t get out of your van, your first call is not often your state Senator’s office. However, if you do call, I’ll work to get you out.
*A Mary Kay business is not just “pink jars and pink cars” – it’s really about enriching women’s lives, making them feel beautiful inside and enhancing their self-confidence so that they can kick some major butt.
*It’s ok not to be “perfect” – if you don’t win that prize this month; you have the next month and the one after that waiting for you. Keep moving forward.
*I would like Michelle Obama arms, thanks.
*I’m not the girl that says “let’s catch up over dinner/drinks/lunch/etc” but really doesn’t mean it. I mean it. Sincerely.
*Some days you just need a pair of fantastic shoes to brighten your day.
*I LOVE this quote “I hope that my achievements in life shall be these – that I will have fought for what was right and fair, that I will have risked for that which mattered, and that I will have given help to those who were in need, and that I will have left the earth a better place for what I’ve done and who I’ve been.” As a policy maker at the County level and as a staffer at the state level, and in my daily life I try very hard to live by this motto. I hope that I will make a difference.
*I’m much more tired and hungry when I don’t eat a balanced diet.
*A good medium, black, ball point pen is my favorite. Right now I’m loving the Pentel tko – yes, I’ve thought about this.
*I’m not old enough to be a cougar. I’m a puma.
*I LOVE cards – I would take a card over a gift any day, but I ALWAYS have a hard time finding the perfect one for people.
*Parity for mental health is not just a want; it’s a need and a necessity. Improving coverage and access for people with mental illness will benefit not only the person but their family, employers, and the community as a whole.
*I LOVE my morning boot camp class at the Y. They are all SO great to hang out with (I mean work out with) at 5:15 am on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
*It's almost always better to leave well enough alone.
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