Could you please remove your hands from my mouth?

If so, I'd be happy to have a conversation with you.

I'm kind of anal about my teeth - I've never been subjected to braces or head gear and while I've had my share of cavities due to "soft" teeth, I take pride in the fact that they're nearly perfect. They could be whiter and I could have less fillings, but they're straight and damn it if there's one thing I actually like about myself (ok, there are really several, not just one) it's my smile.

I went to the dentist this morning - and I'm one of those abnormal people (shocking, I know!) that actually likes the dentist. I mean, you get to lay in a comfy chair and listen to soft rock, and you get prizes when you're good (I got a toothbrush, paste, floss, AND chapstick - I was REALLY good). You also get your teeth polished so all I want to do is smile all day at people - see? my teeth are totally fantastic today!

However, as much as I love going to the dentist, I have NEVER understood why they (the dentist and the hygienist) want to have a conversation with you while they have their hands and sharp instruments in your MOUTH. Hello? Can't talk because your mirror is in the way, oh and if I move my mouth you're going to jab me with the plaque scrapper.

I’m all for the small talk, especially with the people who are providing me with health care – I appreciate that they want to know about what I’m up to, it’s good bedside manner, but could you please ask me questions AFTER you suck the water out of my mouth with your crazy hose thing? Thanks.