I've been thinking about resolutions again - and have been for the last week and I've decided that I'm going to make some this year. A lot of change happened in 2008 - mostly positive but towards the end it seemed like all that change ganged up on me and has caused me to be a little down and out and a little lost.
So, here are some things I want to improve on in 2009.
- I want to stop apologizing for things - unless they're really in need of an apology. I have a tendency to downplay my thoughts and wants and ideas with apologies. "A sorry to bother you..." or a "this may sound silly..." or even an "I'm sorry" when there's legitimately nothing to be sorry for is silly. I know what I want and what I don't want (or at least I'm working on that) and I should be able to say something with out feeling bad about it - I shouldn't trivialize my thoughts, ideas and requests. However, I do promise that when I screw up or hurt some one's feelings, or do something that absolutely needs an apology, I'm on it.
- I want to be able to say "NO" - I have a tendency to take on too many things - most of which I don't even enjoy doing because I feel bad if I don't do them or I feel like I'm letting people down if I don't take on the extra whatever. I'm going to make this a year of prioritizing - for me - what's best for me and what kind of load am I able to handle before I go crazy and get crabby. I want to be able to commit to things I love or things I want to do so that I can do them well. As I take on more and more I often get lost and just go through the motions and things are pretty half assed - still done, but not to the best of my abilities.
- I want to be more creative. I've been in a rut and have been going through the motions, I am yearning to be more creative - I used to love scrapbooking because I was able to create and play and be artsy. I'd love to get back into something like that - to live my life with a little more flair. I've already taken good steps on this one and have signed up for a tele class "A New Year, A New You" - Kimberly Wilson of Hip Tranquil Chick is leading an hour long chat aiming to learn ways to live more creatively, exude your signature style, and make this your best year yet. I've decided to see how this goes and if I like it to sign up for an online class with her about creativity.
- I want to be more organized. I've always been one to have a messy room and piles of "organized chaos" on my desk. I'm really trying hard to keep things neat and in place and my desk has been in awesome shape since we moved into our new office in the begining of December and my "new" room at the 'rents place has been uber clean with my bed made daily (since Christmas!) so now the goal is to continue on.
- I want to figure out a direction. Where am I going? What am I going to do? A lot of the last year has been a confusion of who I am and what I am going to do with my life and where I'm going to live. I really would like to work on those questions this year.
- I want to get back to the things I love. In addition to being able to say "NO" more often, I really want to get back to doing things that make me happy. I have been down lately and am trying to ask myself, "when were you the happiest" and it's come back to running. When I run, I'm really happy. Since I've discovered my SI Joint Dysfunction and haven't been able to run much, I've been more down than I've been in a long time. And while thankfully I can still work out, I'm most happy when I'm running. My sports doc feels that I will be ready to start training for a spring marathon in mid January and I did some running on Wednesday - about 2.75 miles and actually felt really good.
So, for a girl who doesn't put much stock into resolutions - or at least making them on the start of the new year, I sure have a laundry list!!